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Did things seem to change after you said “I do” ?
Things certainly did for me. Greg and I found ourselves talking nasty to each other, not having patience with one another, doing things that seemed to be bugging the heck out of the other person. I began feeling like I had no idea who I married. And I’m sure Greg felt the same.
I could have sworn his facial hair being left in the sink, underwear on the bathroom floor and refusing to turn the light off after we went to bed at night were all just to purposely drive me INSANE. I found him almost disgusting at times and certainly lacking of any respect for me. Let alone feeling loved and appreciated. On the flip side I’m sure he was wondering how on earth he married someone who lets the laundry pile up so high that any normal human being wouldn’t be able to step over it. Or how he could have fallen in love with someone who sheds more hair than a golden retriever.
We would argue about anything, anywhere any time. Just ask our friends and family. Some of them even had bets as to weather or not we would even last a year.
(Honestly, I’m sure at times we even made things uncomfortable – we where that argumentative)
In Chapter 1 of The 5 Love Languages:
Dr. Champan asks the question,
“…why is it that so few couples seem to have found the secret to keeping love alive after the wedding?”
The Answer? “People speak different love languages.”
Dr. Champan makes reference to speaking different love languages is comparable to speaking Chinese and English.
Boy, did Greg and I speak different languages. And even though we had been through the love language test and pre-martial counseling we thought we knew what we were doing. However, in fact we knew nothing. Then add the stress of a new business, farming with my parents and a new baby & then another baby – we had lost ourselves and our relationship. All because we weren’t speaking each other’s language. Each other’s love language. I was complaining to everyone who would listen about what a jerk my husband was and he was bottling his frustrations about me up inside. We weren’t talking to each other, let alone speaking the other one’s love language.
Thankfully, The 5 Love Languages book landed in our lives once again.
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We each learned a secondary love language (each other’s) and our relationship began to grow again. Is it perfect? Absolutely NOT but I believe because of the simple knowledge and understanding of each other’s love language we haven’t ended up in the ugly place we found ourselves a few years ago.
I know this is only Chapter 1 but seriously, no matter the state of your current relationship…. this book if applied completely can only improve upon what you already have together!
What do you all think of Love Languages being a solution? You all know I sure LOVE it!
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